confidence counselling london

Confidence Counselling London

Low self esteem and self confidence can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. The causes of low confidence come from negative self beliefs, often established from a very young age. Over time the beliefs are reinforced through encounters and relationships, resulting in a vicious cycle of negativity.

By learning to recognise old thought patterns and unconscious scripts, it’s possible to break through the limitations of low self esteem and develop a natural and buoyant self confidence based on accepting yourself as you are.

What is confidence counselling?

Confidence counselling is therapy designed to help you feel better about yourself. It’s a combination of learning to accept what you cannot change, and identifying areas where you would like to grow.

There are many therapies which can help with confidence, and as an integrative psychotherapist, I would choose the best approach according to your individual needs and goals. These typically draw from Psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness and other modalities.

Some of the areas addressed in confidence counselling:

  • negative beliefs
  • negative thoughts
  • unhelpful behaviours
  • managing difficult feelings
  • triggers for low moods
  • potential areas for growth
  • visualising a better future

Confidence counselling leads to a better understanding of yourself – your triggers, behaviours and thinking patterns. You’ll develop the skills to recognise connections between the way you’re thinking and low self esteem you’re experiencing.

It can be very empowering to realise that ultimately you’re in control, and the key to confidence is in how you choose to react to life’s situations.

If you grapple with issues like self-doubt, insecurity, or fear of failure, confidence counselling and low self esteem counselling can make a huge difference. It will also help you improve your social skills, overcome shyness, and cultivate a positive self-image.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her”


Signs You Need Confidence Counselling

If you’re wondering whether you’re struggling with low confidence and self esteem issues, see if anything on this list resonates with you:

  • fear of leaving your comfort zone
  • reluctance to try new things
  • finding small things challenging
  • reluctance to make change in your life
  • persistent self doubt
  • feeling criticised by others
  • difficulty making decisions
  • negative self talk
  • not fitting in socially

The symptoms of low self esteem are familiar to anyone who suffers from a negative self-image. The critical voice be so ingrained that it’s impossible to imagine any change is possible. In this case, it’s good to acknowledge the feelings of limitation, but take action anyway.

Therapy for self confidence begins with meeting you where you are, with your feelings of hopelessness and despair. It’s a normal place to start for anyone with low self esteem issues, and it’s the first step towards self compassion, and acceptance.

Benefits of Confidence Counselling and Self Esteem Therapy

Confidence counselling for low self esteem can help you feel better about yourself. You can learn to let go of outdated thinking patterns, and to accept yourself fully as you are.


The first step in confidence counselling is learning to accept yourself and your circumstances as they are right now. This doesn’t mean things will never change. On the contrary, self-acceptance is changing your state of mind and loosening the grip of negative and critical thinking.

The Root Causes

Human beings are complex, each with our own history and unique way of responding to events around us. It can take some exploration to get to the underlying causes of low self confidence. There may be trauma involved, perhaps childhood abuse or neglect. Or it could be related to past relationships with people who have devalued you.

Your low self esteem may also involve an element of depression or anxiety, or might stem from other mental health conditions such as CPTSD or PTSD, which can also be treated in therapy. Or it may stem from your identification with beliefs about yourself which need challenging. It can be hard to meet to meet the individual demands of people, and you might be suffering from feelings of ‘not being good enough’.

Overcoming fear and self-doubt

Perhaps it’s difficult to muster up the confidence to come to therapy. It’s fine to come to a first session and say, ‘I find it difficult being here’. You’ll be met with understanding and compassion by a therapist who knows how this feels.

The very act of seeking counselling for confidence is a positive step towards conquering fear and self-doubt. In the sessions we can look at your fears and explore them in depth in a safe place.

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”

Anna Freud

Developing natural confidence

It can be tempting to think you need something extra to be confident – a high status job, an impressive physique, an extensive vocabulary or knowledge. But how ever far you go down this route, it will have no effect on the natural confidence needed to be at ease and spontaneous around others.

Real confidence comes from knowing who you are on a deeper level – your strengths, your weaknesses, your desires, quirks and vulnerabilities. And once you know and love yourself for who you are, it becomes easy to show it to others.

The problem is that most people don’t know who they are. They’ve built their personalities around who they think they should be, and who they think other people want them to be. You can never be truly confident until you look within to discover your authentic self.

The natural confidence that arises when you’re acting from your core is unselfconscious, gently assertive, and persuasive. You won’t have to think too much about how you are with people – your communications will take on a freer, spontaneous quality.

Confidence counselling London

Confidence counselling can make a huge improvement to your self esteem, mental health, and quality of life. It can help you to develop a deeper understanding of yourself, so you can see for yourself, the areas in which you’ve been holding yourself back. With the guidance and support of an experienced therapist, you can let go of low self esteem, and embrace a future you may never have thought possible.

I offer private therapy in Central London, and take a person-centred approach, meaning that I’m non-judgemental, see clients as equals, and will collaborate with you on your healing journey. If you feel you could benefit from confidence counselling, please book an initial consultation. You don’t have to prepare for this, just come as you are and we can look into how I might be able to help.

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Daren Banarsë MBACP

I'm a licensed psychotherapist and counsellor, with a private practice in Central London. I treat anxiety, depression and relationship issues with trauma-informed therapy. I have a background in music and the arts.